Paul’s Instructions to Children and Fathers in Christ
Ephesians
6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy
father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may
be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord. KJVImmediately after instructing the Christian husbands and wives, Paul now completes the instruction to the entire family by declaring to the Christian children to “obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1). Unlike the Christian wives, the Christian child is to place themselves under the authority of the Christian father. The English word obey Paul uses here is translated by the Greek word hupakouo which means to hear under (as a subordinate), that is, to listen attentively; by implication to heed or conform to a command or authority: - hearken, be obedient to, obey. In other words, the Christian children are not equal to the Christian parents in the home, but instead are placed by God the Father under the rule and authority of the Christian parents. However, the child that is born again and “in Christ” is equal spiritually in every respect as his or her father and mother. It is the structure of the family that the Apostle speaks of here that requires the children to live in obedience to their parents. Notice, however, the Apostle Paul again gives the only sphere or environment or domain that this subordinate/obedient way of life must be demonstrated by the parents and specifically the head of the Christian home the father and that is in the Lord.
Like the wife submitting to her husband is to be in the Lord, so must the children be under the authority of parents who are not only “in Christ”, but walking and living under His Authority and in turn ruling over their Christian children according to the will of Christ Jesus our Lord as He declared of the patriarch Abraham with these words, “For I have known (chosen, acknowledged) him [as My own], so that he may teach {and} command his children and the sons of his house after him to keep the way of the Lord and to do what is just and righteous, so that the Lord may bring Abraham what He has promised him.” (Genesis 18:19). Note: Here is what Matthew Henry had to say about Christian children obeying their parents, “The great duty of children is to obey their parents, parents being the instruments of their being, God and nature having given them an authority to command, in subservience to God; and, if children will be obedient to their pious parents, they will be in a fair way to be pious as they are. That obedience which God demands from their children, in their behalf, includes an inward reverence, as well as the outward expressions and acts.” This Paul declares to Christian children is the way the Divine Godhead ordained or ordered it to be in time. It is the just response for Christian children to give back to their parents for causing them to have physical life in this world. It is especially fit for the Christian child to obey his or her mother, for she has gone down into the valley of the shadow of death to give birth to them, having her physical body go through such drastic, demanding, and dreadful changes in order that they might have life.
Paul reminds the Christian children of the fifth (5th) commandment by saying to them, “Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2-3). The Apostle Paul is here referencing what Moses wrote in Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16. The English word honour used in those two verses and here is translated by the Hebrew word kabad or kabed and the Greek word timao which means to make weighty; to prize, that is, fix a valuation upon; by implication to revere: - honour, value. In other words, God the Father has designed that the Christian parents are to be reverenced highly by the Christian children, in like manner, as He (God the Father) is to be highly honored and valued by His redeemed children by virtue of Christ’s Blood. This commandment of God the Father’s comes with a promise to Christian children that their days will be lengthened here on the earth and that they will be happy and successful here on the earth. This does not mean that Christian children will be minus heartache, pain, suffering, and sorrow, not at all, but what it does mean is that the blessing of God the Father will be always and continuously with them/us all of our days on the earth as He (God the Father) through Christ Jesus’ (God the Sons) sacrifice for our sins and by the working Power of God the Holy Spirit will work all things together for our good here on the earth as we (Christian children) sojourn and pilgrimage our way to our true and real home in Heaven with Him our Heavenly Father. This is a Divine assurance from our Father in Heaven that every obedient Christian child can rest upon, however, it is not for the promise that we Christian children be obedient to our Christian parents, but because it is the will of God as we remember what our Lord Jesus declared to us when He said, “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill.” (Matthew 5:17) and “For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’” (Matthew 15:4). Far from abolishing the Law Christ and His Grace only reaffirms all that was written in the Law and by the Prophets.
The Apostle Paul speaks lastly to the fathers (as being the head of the household) by instructing them to “provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4). It is the father’s responsibility as the head of the wife and the household to instruct his children in the ways of the Lord and not to frustrate them or infuriate them with legalistic rules and regulations that will not bring them in any way close to God, but they are instead commanded by God the Father to observe all that He has commanded as He declared with these words recorded by Moses written to the children of Israel (they hold true for fathers “in Christ” today), “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-7). The consequences of Christian fathers not teaching the ways of God the Father to their children can result in a tragic outcome within the family as was the case with Eli and his sons as recorded by the Prophet Samuel with these words, “Then the LORD said to Samuel: ‘Behold, I will do something in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. In that day I will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them. And therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.’” (1 Samuel 3:11-14).
Unlike Eli, Paul’s desire for these Ephesian believing fathers and us today is to train up our children in the ways of God the Father. Paul uses two English words here to explain what he means and they are nurture and admonition. The English word nurture is translated by the Greek word paideia meaning tutorage, that is, education or training; by implication disciplinary correction: - chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture. In other words, Paul instructs the Christian father to teach and train his Christian children in the ways of God by correcting and educating them in accordance with the Word of God using physical discipline when needed as the Proverb declares with these words, “Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.” (Proverbs 23:13-14). The English word admonition is translated by the Greek word nouthesia meaning calling attention to, that is, (by implication) mild rebuke or warning: - admonition. It is the father drawing from the wisdom of God the Father through His Spirit and His Word knowing how he ought to handle every teaching moment (either with the rod of chastening or a word of warning) with his children from birth until they become adults and then have command and rule over their own children and in so doing they will be not like Eli and his sons, but as Job declares with these words, “Behold, happy is the man whom God corrects; Therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty. For He bruises, but He binds up; He wounds, but His hands make whole.” (Job 5:17-18). Like God the Father with His children, also shall every Christian father be with his earthly children placed under his stewardship from God the Father and then will this Proverb be fulfilled in generation after generation of families with faithful Christian fathers, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6).
“It is the great duty of parents to be careful in the education of their children: Not only bring them up, as the brutes do, taking care to provide for them; but bring them up in nurture and admonition, in such a manner as is suitable to their reasonable natures. Nay, not only bring them up as men, in nurture and admonition, but as Christians, in the admonition of the Lord. Let them have a religious education. Instruct them to fear sinning; and inform them of, and excite them to, the whole of their duty towards God.” Matthew Henry
If you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ and His amazing healing power, pray this from your heart to the Lord Jesus Christ (you speaking directly to Him), Dear Lord Jesus, I confess to You that I am a sinner and I need Your forgiveness. I believe You shed Your Blood and died for my sins. I believe that You rose from the dead proving that You alone are God. I repent of my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I ask You Dear Lord Jesus to come into my heart and take control of my life. I want You to be my Lord, Savior, and my God. Amen...
Sincerely in Christ,
Clifford D. Tate, Sr.
Author of “Silent Assassins of the Soul - Are you Broken by Pornography and Masturbation? You can be Restored by the Lord Jesus Christ and brought into Deliverance, Freedom, and Victory! A Guide for Men and Women in the Enemy’s Crosshairs” e-book available now @ Amazon Kindle, @ Apple I Bookstore for IPod, Barnes and Noble for Nook, Reader Store for Sony Reade, Kobo, Copia, Gardners, Baker and Taylor, and eBookPie…
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