Christ Preeminence is Detailed to the Colossians Volume 37

Paul's Exhortation to Christian Children and Fathers

Colossians 3:20-21 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. KJV

Just as the Christian husband and wife have a unique responsibility to one another, likewise do the Christian children have a separate but vital and essential role and relationship that must be present with their parents as the Apostle Paul declares to all the Christian children in the home with these words, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." (Colossians 3:20) (KJV). The first and most critical instruction Paul gives to children is to 'obey' your parents. This little English word 'obey' carries with it much weight and responsibility and is translated by the Greek word hupakouo meaning to hear under (as a subordinate), that is, to listen attentively; by implication to heed or conform to a command or authority: - hearken, be obedient to, obey. In other words, the child is not to be running the home by any means (through playing one parent against another or through withholding love and affection from the parents or through guilting or shaming their parents or through intimidation when they are older) because he or she has been on the earth far less time than their parents and have no meaningful life experiences to draw from at all.

Obedience in all things means just what it says here, with nothing left out or of limits for the parent to instruct the child in. There is only to be deviation from this command, if the parents are not instructing them according to the will or desires of our Lord, Master, and Savior Jesus Christ. If the parent instructs or commands the child to do things that are outside of what is clearly taught in the Word of God, then the child is to resist and even refuse such instruction (Note: when he or she is older; obviously this is impossible for a 4 year old to do; this is why we need other Parents in the Churches & Teachers in the schools to be attentive to the child's behavior that they might see trouble such as physical or sexual abuse happening to a small child and seek help for them), but so far as the parents instructions are according to Scripture, then it is a good son or daughter who loves their parents unconditionally who will be obedient as the Proverb declares with these words, "Hear,  my sons, the instruction of a father, and pay attention in order to gain {and} to know intelligent discernment, comprehension, {and} interpretation [of spiritual matters]. For I give you good doctrine [what is to be received]; do not forsake my teaching. When I [Solomon] was a son with my father [David], tender and the only son in the sight of my mother [Bathsheba], He taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live." (Proverbs 4:1-4) (Amplified Bible).

It is the wisdom of Father's and Mother's acquired over the years through many trials, tribulations, terrible mistakes made with bitter consequences reaped that serve as instruction to children from their parents who love them and desire to see them avoid some of the pitfalls that were theirs. This attitude leading to this behavior of obeying parents is what is 'well-pleasing' to the Lord Jesus Christ. This English word 'well-pleasing' is translated by the Greek word euarestos meaning fully agreeable: - acceptable. It is obedience to the will of God or the Word of God that brings delight to the bosom of our Lord Jesus Christ as declared by the Prophet Samuel to then King Saul with these piercing words, "Samuel said, Has the Lord as great a delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as idolatry and teraphim (household good luck images). Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He also has rejected you from being king." (1 Samuel 15:22-23) (Amplified Bible).

This command Paul reminds the children in the Colossian Church of is the first commandment of the Ten Commandments with a promise as it was declared to the children of Israel when they were delivered from slavery in Egypt with these words, "Regard (treat with honor, due obedience, and courtesy) your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land the Lord your God gives you." (Exodus 20:12) (Amplified Bible). However, in those same days when the children of Israel were brought out of bondage in Egypt, but refused to hearken to the 'voice of the LORD' and rebelled against their parents, the punishment back then was swift and harsh as declared by these words, "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or his mother and though they chasten him will not listen to them, Then his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, And they shall say to the elders of his city, This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall cleanse out the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear and [reverently] fear." (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) (Amplified Bible). Note: "Dutiful children are the most likely to prosper in the world and enjoy long life." (Matthew Henry).

Fathers have not only a responsibility to love their wives just as our Lord Jesus Christ loves His Church, but just as critical Fathers are to be the beacon or the lighthouse for their children guiding them into the good paths of this life as he follows our Lord Jesus Christ, seeking to see them avoid land mines in this earthly pilgrimage by affirming them 'in Christ' with loving words that build them up and never tear them down, making them know that they can accomplish any of their dreams and desires, therefore, Paul instructs Father's with these words concerning their children, "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." (Colossians 3:21) (KJV). The English word 'provoke' is translated by the Greek word erethizo meaning to stimulate (specially to anger): - provoke, that is, providing the needed stimulus for them to get angry by annoying continually or chronically and finding fault with every little thing they do. It is not the earthly Father's job to be his children's judge and jury finding fault with every single thing, but instead (as we said earlier) they are to guide them in the right paths as best they can and then pray for them to be guided even better by the Lord Jesus Christ as Paul wrote to the Hebrews with these words, "Now may the God of peace [Who is the Author and the Giver of peace], Who brought again from among the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, by the Blood [that sealed, ratified] the everlasting agreement (covenant, testament), Strengthen (complete, perfect) {and} make you what you ought to be {and} equip you with everything good that you may carry out His will; [while He Himself] works in you {and} accomplishes that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ (the Messiah); to Whom be the glory forever and ever (to the ages of the ages). Amen (so be it). (Hebrews 13:20-21) (Amplified Bible).

The English phrase 'they be discouraged' is translated by one Greek word athumeo (used this one time only in the New Testament) meaning to be spiritless, that is, disheartened: - be dismayed. In other words, the Father can be the conduit the devil uses to break the spirit of his own child causing him or her to spiral down into depression, darkness, and despair feeling the sense that they have lost all hope seeing that they are not receiving the loving approval and loving support from one of the person's they themselves love the most, making them feel that everything is wrong with them and about them leading them into discouragement, but instead we Father's must heed this warning from the Apostle Paul here and also what he said to the Ephesian believers, "Fathers, do not irritate {and} provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training {and} discipline and the counsel {and} admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) (Amplified Bible).

"This is the hard part for the child, not occasional obedience, but continual. Surely a Christian father or mother will not make unreasonable or unjust demands of the child. Nowhere does modern civilization show more weakness than just here. Waves of lawlessness sweep over the world because the child was not taught to obey. Again, Paul argues that this is 'in the Lord'" Robertson's Word Pictures

"Let not your authority over them be exercised with rigour and severity, but with kindness and gentleness, lest you raise their passions and discourage them in their duty, and by holding the reins too tight make them fly out with greater fierceness. The bad temper and example of imprudent parents often prove a great hindrance to their children and a stumbling-block in their way. And it is by the tenderness of parents, and dutifulness of children, that God ordinarily furnishes His Church with a seed to serve Him, and propagates religion from age to age." Matthew Henry

"Lest, by your continually finding fault with them, they should lose all courage, and despair of ever pleasing you. There is much sound sense and practical wisdom in this observation of the Apostle. Children should not be flattered, but they should be encouraged. They should not be so praised as to make them vain and proud, but they should be commended when they do well. The desire of praise should not be the principle from which they should be taught to act, but they should feel that the approbation of parents is a desirable thing, and when they act so as to deserve that approbation, no injury is done them by their understanding it. He who always finds fault with a child; who is never satisfied with what he does; who scolds and frets and complains, let him do as he will, breaks his spirit, and soon destroys in the delicate texture of his soul all desire of doing well. The child in despair soon gives over every effort to please. He becomes sullen, morose, stupid, and indifferent to all the motives that can be presented to him, and becomes to a great extent indifferent as to what he does - since all that he does meets with the same reception from the parent." Albert Barnes

If you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ and His amazing healing power, pray this from your heart to the Lord Jesus Christ (you speaking directly to Him), Dear Lord Jesus, I confess to You that I am a sinner and I need Your forgiveness. I believe You shed Your Blood and died for my sins. I believe that You rose from the dead proving that You alone are God. I repent of my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I ask You Dear Lord Jesus to come into my heart and take control of my life. I want You to be my Lord, Savior, and my God. Amen...


Sincerely in Christ,


Clifford D. Tate, Sr.

Author of “Silent Assassins of the Soul - Are you Broken by Pornography and Masturbation? You can be Restored by the Lord Jesus Christ and brought into Deliverance, Freedom, and Victory! A Guide for Men and Women in the Enemy’s Crosshairs” e-book available now @ Amazon Kindle, @ Apple I Bookstore for IPod, Barnes and Noble for Nook, Reader Store for Sony Reade, Kobo, Copia, Gardners, Baker and Taylor, and eBookPie…