Christ Preeminence is Detailed to the Colossians Volume 36

Paul's Exhortation to Christian Husbands and Wives

Colossians 18-19 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. KJV

Switching lanes, the Apostle now begins to make his exhortations more personal as he addresses only those in the Colossian Church who are married speaking first to the wives saying, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (Colossians 3:18) (KJV). Here we find one of the most controversial, contentious, and cursed words in all the Bible. Many women, since Christ death and resurrection have been deceived by the devil to think of these words as man's way of holding them under foot, suppressing their ability to flourish in the world of business, education, science, medicine, athletics, politics, etc. because they falsely see that this exhortation given by inspiration of the Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul to be not from God, but man made up. First off, this exhortation is not meant for the world or those without Jesus Christ, but instead it is directed to the married woman who has accepted and received Jesus Christ as Lord, Master, and Savior of their souls. Now after this brief interlude, let us examine exactly what Paul exhorts the married Christian woman to do concerning her own Christian husband. Paul tells her to 'submit yourselves' to their Christian husband.

This English phrase 'submit yourselves' is translated by one Greek word hupotasso meaning to subordinate; reflexively to obey: - be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, make subject unto, be put in subjection to, submit self-unto; it is properly a military term, alluding to that entire submission that soldiers pay to their General. In other words, the Christian wife (even though she is totally equal to the Christian husband in the sight of God (Galatians 3:28)), must willingly place herself in the role of second in command of the household, just as our Lord Jesus Christ being equal with God the Father, yet "He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the Cross" (Philippians 2:8), therefore, in like manner as her Lord, the Christian wife is to so humble herself to obedience to her Christian husband, so long as he is obedient to our Lord, Master, and Savior Jesus Christ listen to what Paul says to the Corinthian Church, "For man was not [created] from woman, but woman from man; Neither was man created on account of {or} for the benefit of woman, but woman on account of {and} for the benefit of man. Therefore, she should [be subject to his authority and should] have a covering on her head [as a token, a symbol, of her submission to authority, that she may show reverence as do] the angels [and not displease them]." (1 Corinthians 11:8-10) (Amplified Bible).

This also is all part of the order ordained by God the Father after the fall as documented for us by Moses with these words from God the Father to the first woman (who sinned) Eve, "To the woman He said, I will greatly multiply your grief {and} your suffering in pregnancy {and} the pangs of childbearing; with spasms of distress you will bring forth children. Yet your desire {and} craving will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16) (Amplified Bible). The little English phrase 'is fit' is translated by one Greek word aneko meaning figuratively as it be proper or in other words good, right, sound, or appropriate for a condition, purpose, occasion or a person's character, that is, so long as her Christian husband is following the example of our Lord Jesus Christ and His relationship to His Bride the Church. Note: "Wives have rights and privileges, but recognition of the husband’s leadership is essential to a well-ordered home, only the assumption is that the husband has a head and a wise one." (Robertson's Word Pictures). This order of leadership in the Christian home has no idea of the man being superior to the wife at all, but the two are different in the way and how each were created by God, also this order is due to the order of the transgression in the Garden as Paul declares with these words to Brother Timothy, "For Adam was first formed, then Eve; And it was not Adam who was deceived, but [the] woman who was deceived {and} deluded and fell into transgression." (1 Timothy 2:13-14) (Amplified Bible).

Now the man or Christian husband has but one thing he must do and that is to love his wife and Paul said to the Ephesian believers that he is to love her just as Christ loves His Bride the Church and gave Himself up for her, however, here to the Colossian believers he says, "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." (Colossians 3:19) (Amplified Bible). The Christian husband by far has the tougher exhortation rendered unto him because he is to have the same love feast, meaning continual never ending love for his wife just as Christ Jesus our Lord has for each member of His Body the Church. There are no days off this sacrificial love because our Lord Jesus never takes a day off, He never takes a moment off showing this sacrificial, self-less, suffering, serving, love for His Bride the Church, even when she is as ugly to Him as a troll, yet His love for her is steadfast, so must the Christian husband be with his bride. This is perhaps why the Apostle Paul added here the exhortation against being bitter towards her. This English phrase 'be not bitter' is translated by one Greek word pikraino meaning (through the idea of piercing); sharp (pungent), that is, acrid (literally or figuratively): - to embitter or make oneself bitter.

This is to be eradicated from the inner man of the husband as he sees it beginning to take root in the soul (Ephesians 4:31) for this will completely corrupt love to his wife and the construction of an invisible bitter wall will block off all forms of the wife’s loving submission unto him as well as blocking off God the Father hearing his prayers and petitions unto Him as the Apostle Peter declared with these words, "In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God's unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered {and} cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]" (1 Peter 3:7) (Amplified Bible). Note: "Turning love into hatred of their persons; ruling with rigour, and in a tyrannical manner; behaving towards them in a morose, churlish, and ill natured way; giving them either bitter words, or blows, and denying them their affection, care, provision, protection, and assistance, but using them as servants, or worse. All which is barbarous, brutish, and unchristian, and utterly unbecoming the Gospel." (Dr. John Gill).

"It is agreeable to the order of nature and the reason of things, as well as the appointment and will of God. But then it is submission, not to a rigorous lord or absolute tyrant, who may do his will and is without restraints, but to a husband, and to her own husband, who stands in the nearest relation, and is under strict engagements to proper duty too. And this is fit in the Lord, it is becoming the relation, and what they are bound in duty to do, as an instance of obedience to the authority and law of Christ." Matthew Henry

"The husband who harbors bitter feelings for his wife and never repents of this internal brooding, boiling, and bubbling inferno will eventually explode in regrettable words spoken to her that are demeaning and defacing and in some cases will even result to hurting his wife physically, this is not the submission the Apostle Paul is exhorting here and it is certain to me that God the Father would want such a wife to immediately vacant such an environment and never return unless the husband can prove that he has truly been changed by the grace of God (1 Corinthians 7:15)." Clifford D. Tate, Sr.

"Such then as are the nature and the spring of the Church’s 'subjection' to Christ, such will be the nature and the spring of the wife’s 'subjection' to the husband. That is to say, it is a subjection of which love is the very soul and animating principle. In a true marriage, as in the loving obedience of a believing soul to Christ, the wife submits not because she has found a master, but because her heart has found its rest. Everything harsh or degrading melts away from the requirement when thus looked at. It is a joy to serve where the heart is engaged, and that is eminently true of the feminine nature. For its full satisfaction, a woman’s heart needs to look up where it loves. She has certainly the fullest wedded life who can 'reverence' her husband. For its full satisfaction, a woman’s heart needs to serve where it loves. That is the same as saying that a woman’s love is, in the general, nobler, purer, more unselfish than a man’s, and therein, quite as much as in physical constitution, is laid the foundation of that Divine ideal of marriage, which places the wife’s delight and dignity in sweet loving subjection." Expositor's Bible Commentary

"And what of the husband’s duty? He is to love, and because he loves, not to be harsh or bitter, in word, look, or act. The parallel in Ephesians adds the solemn, elevating thought, that a man’s love to the woman, whom he has made his own, is to be like Christ’s to the Church. Patient and generous, utterly self-forgetting and self-sacrificing, demanding nothing, grudging nothing, giving all, not shrinking from the extreme of suffering and pain and death itself-that he may bless and help-such was the Lord’s love to His bride, such is to be a Christian husband’s love to his wife. That solemn example, which lifts the whole emotion high above mere passion or selfish affection, carries a great lesson too as to the connection between man’s love and woman’s 'subjection.' The former is to evoke the latter, just as in the heavenly pattern, Christ’s love melts and moves human wills to glad obedience, which is liberty. We do not say that a wife is utterly absolved from obedience where a husband fails in self-forgetting love, though certainly it does not lie in his mouth to accuse, whose fault is graver than, and the origin of, hers. But, without going so far as that, we may recognise the true order to be that the husband’s love, self-sacrificing and all-bestowing, is meant to evoke the wife’s love, delighting in service, and proud to crown him her king." Expositor's Bible Commentary

If you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ and His amazing healing power, pray this from your heart to the Lord Jesus Christ (you speaking directly to Him), Dear Lord Jesus, I confess to You that I am a sinner and I need Your forgiveness. I believe You shed Your Blood and died for my sins. I believe that You rose from the dead proving that You alone are God. I repent of my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I ask You Dear Lord Jesus to come into my heart and take control of my life. I want You to be my Lord, Savior, and my God. Amen...


Sincerely in Christ,


Clifford D. Tate, Sr.

Author of “Silent Assassins of the Soul - Are you Broken by Pornography and Masturbation? You can be Restored by the Lord Jesus Christ and brought into Deliverance, Freedom, and Victory! A Guide for Men and Women in the Enemy’s Crosshairs” e-book available now @ Amazon Kindle, @ Apple I Bookstore for IPod, Barnes and Noble for Nook, Reader Store for Sony Reade, Kobo, Copia, Gardners, Baker and Taylor, and eBookPie…